I was sitting here thinking about my mom
while I was home today, all alone.
It has been so long since I've seen her
or talked to her on the phone.

We used to talk every day
not a lot, but always some.
So I decided to call her
instead of waiting for a call that won't come.

It was great to hear her voice
on the other end of the line.
she asked me how I was
and I said, "Mom, really, I'm fine."

Our call was pleasant enough,
but nowadays they are all the same.
Almost like talking to a stranger
each time I play out the game.

I try to keep my voice even
and try hard not to cry.
But I can't seem to help myself
no matter how hard I try.

She is being robbed of her memory
more and more every day.
I'm afraid of the time I will call
that I will hear her say ...

That she doesn't have a daughter,
or, "What was your name again?"
When our bond will be finally broken
and only I will feel the pain ...

Of losing all of the things
that made this wonderful woman my mom.
But the cruelty of her dementia
relentlessly marches on.

Dedicated to my Mom,
as Mother's day draws closer...


||©Susan Orloski||
(April 10, 2005)

My mom died, October 17, 2005

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