- LAW OF CAT INERTIA - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force,
such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
- LAW OF CAT MOTION - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change
- LAW OF CAT THERMODYNAMICS - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all
heat flows to the cat.
- FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.
- LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest
- LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost
of the furniture.
- LAW OF PILL REJECTION - Any pill given to a cat has potential to reach escape velocity.
- LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It doesn't matter.
- LAW OF SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM - Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.
- LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE - As yet undiscovered.